The magical ham i promise its humorous or your !
by CassidyTaylor
Summary: YES IT PWNS!


**The Magical Ham **

_ An Original story by Gwen Kibbe and Cassidy Besterfield. _

**Once upon a time, there was a magical ham. It granted wishes to anyone and everyone, except for the ones filling their life with dread and evil. One day, a little boy named Jacques became very sick. His mother, coming from a poor family hadn't had enough money to pay for the dread of her only boy Jacques. Jacques little sister decided to go search for the magical ham, and to wish that her entire family would never become sick again, but the price was her life. It was a miraculous adventure, a quest, and she left not telling her weeping mother by the bedside where she was in tears. **

** Annabel got to the ham, which was in the town square, rather quickly; she lives down the street from the square, and wished with all of her heart. The ham, knowing about what had happened to their father, and that he was not a good man, but that wasn't Jacques fault, the evil ham thought long and hard. **

** "I will grant your wish, but I will be forced to take something in return." The ham said to Annabel. **

** "What would you take in return, Ham?" the ham itched his pineapple beard, thinking about what Annabel had asked.**

** "I would say… Your life, dearest Annabel. You shall be my assistant." The Ham said triumphantly. **

** "If that saves my brother from his terrible illness, that is what I will do." Annabel nodded to the ham and joined souls with the ham, and she turned into a giant cherry. **

** Right before they knew it, everything was all better, and Jacques was no longer sick. Then the ham thought about this poor girl again. She had risked he life for her brother, she loved him. He understood that this helpless family must only be helped. He decided to help the family and they became rich and prosperous. And sickness never reached them again. **

** Soon, tragedy and sorrow had reached and grabbed at the VenBau family. They stayed rich for only a few fortnights, and then, they began to get threatened by robbers, and murderers. One day, when Annabel and Jacques were on their way home from school, they were mugged, only to have nothing on them. So, the robber killed Jacques. There was no point of even healing Jacques anyway, the robber did not kill Annabel, because that would just be foul to kill **_**and **_**mug a woman! One sad day, a burglar got in and left Annabel an orphan, which really sucked considering she was a Cherry person. Her stems ached every day because after school, the ham wizard made her carry his ham wish table to and fro.**

** Every day she was teased and she had close to no friends to talk with, and she never got adopted or lived and got to cherish life. So, the ham adopted her, and so she took up the last name Hamilton. She decided to make her middle name Hamela, so it was Annabel Hamela Hamilton. She loved her life with Ham. But she wasn't sure she, as the brilliant cherry she was, living up to her full potential. One day she was packing up to run away and Ham ran in..**

** "What the Ham do you think you're doing?" he yelled at her, his pineapple quivering.**

** "I'm being Hammy, Dad!" She yelled at Ham. She stormed out of her ham colored room. **

** "GET THE HAM BACK OUT HERE, ANNABELL HAMELA HAMILTON!" Ham screamed. **

** Therefore she never got to leave and ham watched her ever so closely making sure she wasn't planning an escape. Annabel the cherry girl was upset, the square of town didn't have much people to socialize to, and she needed this to end. One day, at school, she met a boy named Martin. He was a Martini. They fell deeply in love. So it was Annabell and Martin. They got married and so Annabell got to leave Ham, now her name was Annabell Martin Martiniman!**

** Unplanned, one day Annabel had a baby. The baby was neither a martini nor was it a cherry. It happened to be a banana. **

** "Annabell! What the Ham is this! It's a banana!" Martin thought she was cheating on him, and she was. She was having an affair with a Banana man. They were deeply in love. Barry the Banana man had said, If you were a banana, I would peel you first, and she fell for it. All that Barry had wanted was her cherry money.**

** "It's a hamming joke, Annabel! Martin the Martiniman yelled at her. **

**Then out of nowhere a fricken unicorn came barging in, "HEY ITS ME FRANKLIN ,Do you guys still have any of that horse radish? It was delish. Is that stuff made out of real horses? Because Im pretty sure that's not the greatest for my diet. Considering I am partly a horse kind of, hey do unicorns count as horses?"**

"**GO AWAY FRANKLIN" yelled annabel**

"**who is this?" yelled Martin Martini.**

"**My **_**friend**_**….." Annabel said. Franklin came up to Annabel and gave her a kiss.**

"**why are you yelling babe?" Franklin laughed.**

"**Shes carryin my babies next, Martin." Franklin laughed again. **

"**Umm guys I don't think this baby is either of yours." She ran away with a sad puppy eyed look, and looked as if her face broke into tears.**

** They chased her. Martin jumped on Franklin and yelled "HAZAH, GO UNICORN GO." They caught her, and her baby banana jumped out of her arms and started to bark, scaring the unicorn away.**

** And suddenly a grape fruit walked up and said "Babe is that you? OMG our baby is a BANANA? ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?" Franklin and Martin both looked at the grapefruit. **

** "so, you guys up for a beer?" Franklin asked the grapefruit and Martin.**

** "Yeah."**

** "Yeah." They both said. Suddenly a Banana came in. **

** "um…I don't know whats going on here Annabel, but im getting a beer. So…." The banana said. **

** "wanna come with?" all of the guys said at once. **

** "sure."**

** "our girlfriend cheated on us… and had a banana baby! Whoever did that to her is a total jerk."**

** "yeah, i totally agree!" said the banana. **

** Finally Michelle Obama came in and started off about how we shouldn't be at the bar, and told us about how we should have healthier portions of our drinking. Then she wanted us to play basketball. And how to make our life healthy magic of living and some crap.**

** Finally another man walked in he had a monotone voice. He said "hey babe" and Annabel almost had a heart attack as well as Michelle Obama….. Barrak Obama was ALSO confused about the baby.**

**Suddenly a gunshot was heard and first it killed Michelle for being so annoying on Disney channel.**

**A guy named Jake was screaming. Only one person in the room thought they knew him. And her name was Cassidy, and they were friends.**

**Anyway, this Jake kid shot every one 7 times. And HE lived happily ever after by himself creeping this kid named Gwen out, and telling her to add him in the story cause hes "awesome" and wanted to be a serial killer in Cassidy and Gwens story. **

**Suddenly, a hole was blown into the wall and Cassidy came out of the Bad ass smoke, and she shot everybody but gwen and Jake, with her machine gun. Then you heard super badass music and she teleported jake and Gwen out of the bad guy scene, and they became the XMEN.**

**They're all BAMFs. Too bad Ham wasn't there to enjoy the party. Yeah, it was too bad that ham the wife beater, child trapper couldn't wrangle anyone up. Later that day Gwen, Cassidy and Jake all killed everyone. All they kept was Mr. Ham, to make pigs fly, cause then a whole lot of things people told me would actually happen…. That would be if they were still alive. Yeah..*looks off into distance thoughtfully*. **

And that is the story of Ham Hamilton and Annabel Martiniman. They all died in the end except for Jake, Gwen, and Cassidy. THE END. The Banana kid became a real banana, and was eaten several days later as a banana split. Because a few days before they ate him he was green. And who likes a non- ripe banana? Not me, sir. No thank you. 


End file.
